I've Moved! (my blog)

Well, that time has finally come. Blogspot has been good to me over the past 2 years but it's time to move on. I've officially moved over to WordPress and started a new blog entitled "Renewed Strength."

I'd love it if you hopped on over to check it out and continue to read!

Four-Year Old Faith

There's nothing as beautiful as the simple faith of a child.

I read this post from my cousin on Facebook about her 4 year old at bedtime. My cousin is headed to Haiti soon on a missions trip.

At bedtime Koen hands me his old piggy (fishy) bank and says, "Here mom you can bring this to the kids in Haiti. They would like it." Then he hands me a stuffed animal that plays music and says, "And you can give this to one of the kids in Haiti. It will help them sleep good." Then he says, "Is that a good thing mom?" "Yes Koen that's a very good thing." Then we prayed for the people in Haiti that they will have food and not be sick. Koen prays that they will have a car. I told him that most of them don't have cars. He says, "They all have to walk to Rite Aid?" I had to laugh, so cute! Koen also told me he wants to go Haiti and build houses like his Uncle Jay. (And bring his tool belt.)

What if we all embraced opportunities like little Koen? Koen has no idea how terrible the situation in Haiti is, or that most are homeless, jobless, and unsure of where their next meal is coming from. He isn't overwhelmed with the situations in third world countries. He isn't convinced that one person cannot change the world. To him, it's simple. In Koen's world, a stuffed animal will make things better. Or a piggy bank. So he wants to give them to the children in Haiti.

I think too often we adults are overwhelmed at the "big picture": world hunger, poverty, sex-trafficking, homelessness. We see the big issues and convince ourselves we can't change the world.

Well, you can't change the entire world.
At least not in this very moment.
And definitely not on your own.

But a stuffed animal? A sweatshirt? A pair of shoes?

You can give that, right?

And that can change someone's world.

And changing someone's world is making a difference.


What can YOU do to change someone's world today?

But Moses' Hands Got Tired...

"But Moses' hands got tired. So they got a stone and set it under him. He sat on it and Aaron and Hur held up his hands, one on each side. So his hands remained steady until the sun went down."
Exodus 17:12, The Message

If you don't know this particular story in the Bible, let me give you a brief overview:

The Israelites went out to fight the Amalekites and, as long as Moses held up his hands, the Israelites were winning the battle. As soon as he lowered his hands, the Amalekites began to win. (see Exodus 17:9-11)

That's where we picked up the story. Aaron and Hur, who were with Moses, realized this and did everything in their power to assist Moses. They knew Moses could not do it alone. So they did it with him.

--

Let's rewind in my life about fourteen years to a time in my life maybe only a handful of you have ever heard about. I was raised in a Christian home, a loving family, and was surrounded by people of faith on a constant basis. Being as young as I was, I loved God mainly because the people around me did. To most people we were the perfect family: loving parents, two kids, and an unbelievable extended family that all lived next door.

On the outside, it was bright.
On the inside, we were stuck in an extremely dark, confusing time.

My mom had just been taken to the state hospital, where she was undergoing treatment for "chronic mental depression due to uncontrollable chemical imbalances."

At the time, I knew mom was sick and couldn't live with us.

The truth? She, completely outside of her control, sank into a depression that drove her into a state of confusion, sadness, and suicidal tendencies. She literally had lost her mind.

And it all happened out of nowhere. Mom had a great business, had just completed a playground project for my school, and was there every afternoon to pick us up from school.

Until one day, she didn't.

All I remember is Mom crying. A lot.
Dad slept in the doorway of their bedroom. Too often Mom would try to get up at night and "end the pain." So there he slept...
I just remember him being tired. Always tired.
Women from the church started staying at our house.
And then Mom closed her bakery.

Fast forward three months.
Mom's gone.
In the state hospital.
We had to walk those white walled halls and go through multiple locked doors just to see her.

I remember wondering who she was. She looked like my mom, but it wasn't her. My mom was never sad. My mom didn't cry. My mom laughed, a lot. I get my personality from her... she was always the light in a room. But she just sat there, wanting to hold my hand, and always spoke of how she was going to miss me when she was gone. I was nine, I didn't understand what she meant.

For months I ate homemade meals from church families, stayed with friends after school, and visited Mom in the place with white walls.

I can only imagine how tired Dad was.

Our house was covered with Bible verses, two in particular. He always told my brother and I to cling to them. Little did I know how desperately he was clinging to them himself.

Those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength...
(Isaiah 40:31)

And we know all things work together for good for those that love God...
(Romans 8:28)

Dad was tired.
Knowing what I know now, tired doesn't even begin to cover it.
Dad was weary, weak, and in need of strength.

We went to church every Sunday with Dad, and, although I couldn't tell you a single thing that was preached from the pulpit during these times, one Sunday is permanently etched into my memory.

I was watching my Dad as he worshiped, and he raised his hands. Halfway through the song, Ronnie, our Evangelism pastor, came up behind him and helped hold his hands up. I remember wondering what Ronnie was doing, then later my dad told me the story of Moses, Aaron, and Hur. It was like God was saying, "You can't do this alone. Let me help. I know that you're weak. But you don't have to be."

The image is still alive in my mind.
And it came flooding back at church yesterday when Pete revisited this story.

Community is the way God confronts and redeems our desire to give up.

I have no idea how many times Dad wanted to give up. Personally? I never heard him say it once. But maybe he was ready to give up. Maybe his will, energy, and strength were all but gone.

But on that day, God confronted my dad and wouldn't let him.

Community was in the form of Ronnie, helping him hold his hands up.

--

Most of this I learned to understand later, due to several relapses my mom had throughout my childhood. Medically, I understood why Mom wasn't around each time a relapse occurred. Spiritually, all I knew was that we weren't alone.

All because of one moment.

My dad, too tired to hold up his hands.
And Ronnie, helping him hold them up.

--


*In case you were wondering, Mom is back to laughing, smiling, & is healthy now, and has been for 7 years.*

One Word.

One word.

It really can't do much, right?

In a culture where verbose resolutions are made to be broken, maybe one word is all we need.

In case you haven't heard, several people have ditched their pattern of broken resolutions and picked up something simple. One word.

You can read about where it all began below.

Over the past couple of days I've tossed several words around trying to decide on what would not only fit what needs to be changed in my life, but what would also stretch and challenge me in ways I don't yet know.

Then, about five minutes ago, I realized none of those words completely encompassed all that I hope for and fear when I think about 2011. My word is an unknown secret to most and a lifelong quest for all.

My word?

Purpose.

Defined both as a noun and a verb indicates not only a static, tangible thing but also a dynamic, moving action.

Noun:
the reason for which something exists

an intended or desired result; end; aim; goal

determination; resoluteness

the subject in hand; the point at issue

Verb:

to set as an aim, intention, or goal for oneself

to intend; design

to resolve (to do something)

on purpose: by design; intentionally
to the purpose: relevant; to the point

Purpose and I have a history.

It's taunted me in my failings.
Covered its face in my searching.
Shown me glimpses of its shadow in the light.

But purpose still doesn't have a name.

To be honest, the word terrifies me. The definition alone screams my past failings and whispers my unknown future. To live the definition requires something beyond myself. Actually, it requires getting rid of myself completely. It requires me to live as I was intended to, resolutely and determined, and find the thing for which I was created.

No pressure, Christina.

And isn't it ironic my personal verse for 2011 falls into the exact same category.

I urge you to live a life worthy of the calling you have received.
Ephesians 4:1

Live a life worthy of your calling.

Talk about a new year's resolution.

So here's to 2011, a year in which I will resolve to do nothing but find my purpose, live with a purpose, and have a purpose in all I do.

Who knew one word could change so much.

A Year in Review: 2010

Like so many people, I have spent my morning reflecting on what this past year has meant to me. I couldn't have imagined all that came my way, the successes I'd have and the tragedies I'd face.

--

No, this isn't a giant pat on the back to myself. What I accomplished and experienced was through merely the grace of God and, for some reason, he decided to bless me with incredible opportunities. May this post shine as a "My God is so good" post. May it point you to Him and not me.

--

There's no way I can ever say it all, so here's an understated summary of 2010:

I finally listened to God's call and joined a community group.

Weekly I was able to see what Biblical community looked like, and I lived it.

I learned that leading is merely serving, and serving is completely selfless.

I won a State Championship.

I sifted through photos of a family I had never met, trying to find at least one not destroyed by the flood.

I finally bought a Contributor.

I learned a homeless man's name, and told him mine.

I worked with NFL athletes.

I went on vacation with 13 people I didn't even know six months before.

I had the swine flu, pneumonia and bronchitis all at the same time... and survived.

I coached five volleyball teams and, for the first time in my career, had more wins than losses.

I shared some dark parts of my heart, and experienced love in spite of it.

I witnessed light shining into dark places.

I made some really dumb decisions, and a few really good ones.

I ran my first 5k.

I broke my foot.

I worked in a bakery, as a nanny, and a dog sitter in addition to my career endeavors.

I was forgiven.

I forgave.

I finally knew what it was like to have real friends.

I taught, and was taught.

Led, and followed.

I saw a flood devastate communities.

I saw hope overcome hopeless situations.

I told someone who Jesus was, while sitting in his flood-damaged house.

I learned how to love, and be loved in return.

I cried, a lot.

I witnessed miracles.

I saw people leave church barefoot in order than someone might have shoes.

I saw our brand new church turn into flood headquarters.

I saw someone put their last dollar in their car to have enough gas to get to our community group.

I saw needs met, hearts healed, and love poured out.

I found my home in Nashville.

I saw God make beautiful things out of broken, empty situations.


Now I have no idea what all will happen in 2011, but I do know that God is not yet finished with me. The year has potential of several changes, possible moves, and career changes but I know it's all in His hands. Regardless of what comes my way, God is faithful. He always has been. 2010 is proof of that. I've never had reason not to trust Him. And that is something worth trusting in.

Week 1: Acts

For those of you who read my post last Wednesday, you know I've set out to read the Bible in the next sixty-six weeks (reading a book per week), and it all started with the book of Acts. With my first week complete of Project 66, there are some serious observations I made about myself and my commitment to the Word.

1. I couldn't tell you the last time I read the Bible every day, for seven days straight.

This breaks my heart to say this. As a leader, role model, and someone who people genuinely look to for advice and guidance, it's unbelievable to me how a basic principle in Christian faith has been missing for such a long time.

2. Reading the Word changes you.

No kidding. You are sitting there asking yourself, "Is she for real? Is she just now realizing this?" The answer is no. I've known the Word of God changes your life since it first changed mine at a young age. The reality is I've just been too selfish and lazy to take the time to allow it to these days. But, over the course of this past week, I have seen changes in my attitude, my speech, and my overall outlook on life. My priorities, different. My focus, changed. If seven days can do that, imagine what the next 455 days will look like. (Yes, I did the math just for you.)

3. Acts is an extraordinary book to start this journey on.

As many of you know, my community group at church has been digging into what an intentional, Biblical lifestyle would look like. It's a radical difference in comparison to today's modern church, but, when compared to the Bible, it is completely normal. To start this journey with Acts seems a little too perfect (well, my next pick followed suit..). Being challenged by what the church looked like from the start was eyeopening to say the least. There's no way I can summarize what reading Acts was for me here in a blog. All I know is that it was a perfect way to start not only challenging myself to read the Bible, but to live it.

And my next random draw?

Ephesians.

Good News

'Tis the season.

I couldn't count how many times I say or hear this phrase these days.

Buying ridiculous things for ridiculous prices...
Eating extra desserts and skipping the gym...
Scheduling 6 different holiday parties...
...and ensuring you're exhausted until January 17... 'tis the season, right?

And then, there are the songs.

It's the most wonderful time of the year!
...parties for hosting, marshmallows for toasting, and caroling out in the snow...

And we buy it, don't we?

If we get that great gift, or host that perfect party, it will be the absolutely most wonderful time of the year. The more people you're around, the more exhausted you are, the more successful the Christmas season will be.

Honestly? I can't argue with that. Starting this Friday I'm booked solid until I fly to visit my family (where I will, most definitely, be booked solid as well). Friday marked for me the beginning of the most wonderful time of the year.

Until my phone went off this morning. It was a dear friend of mine from college. Why she was texting me at 6am, I was rather curious.

"Can you pray for my family? My aunt and uncle were killed last night and my cousin is in critical care."

That's all the text read.

Still think it's the most wonderful time of the year?

Merry Christmas, an entire branch of her family is gone.
Killed.
What's worse?
It was a murder-suicide.

Her uncle shot his wife and daughter, then turned the gun on himself.

A unbelievably harsh reality during a season we all hope to use as an escape.

But let me plea with you. Just because it is Christmas, it is not automatically merry. Just because people smile and hum along with the songs played in Target, it does not mean they are jolly.

For many, Christmas is a reminder of just how dark their world really is.
For some, Christmas unveils the deepest hurts a person has experienced.

Just three days ago I received my friend's Christmas card and posted it on my fridge. We talked and I hoped to see her while I was back in Boston for Christmas.
Grab a cup of coffee.
Talk about life.
Get excited about all that's going on for each of us.

But now?
I want to rush to her house.
Embrace her.
Cry with her.
Ask God to give her comfort and strength in such a dark time.

A dark time?

But it's Christmas.

Today, people still bustled about.
Credit cards were swiped.
Holiday jingles played in every store.
Everyone around me went on with their day as if Christmas made them immune to life's cruelties.

But life doesn't take a holiday.
Usually, it gets a little darker, sharper, and little more lonely this time of year.

Tonight at a coffee shop I heard "It's the Most Wonderful Time of the Year" at least three times. It took all I had within me to not burst into tears in the middle of Barnes & Noble.

No, it's not.
It is not the most wonderful time of the year.
Not for my friend, for her family, or for her cousin that is struggling to survive in ICU. Even if she wakes up, her father tried to kill her and succeeded in killing her mom and himself.

But the cruel reality?
This isn't the only death that will take place this Christmas.
This isn't the only family that will feel heartbreak and confusion while others skip about through stores.
This isn't the only dark moment in what is supposedly the brightest of times.

But, the good news?
Yes, exactly.

The good news.

The good news is that Christmas has nothing to do with feeling jolly, or seasonal lattes, jewelry, big screen TVs, and a new Lexus.
It has nothing to do with the material craze we obsess over on Black Friday.
It has absolutely nothing to do with how many presents you can get or give away.

No, the good news is that although we are desperate, we are given hope.
The good news is that humanity has always been desperate, and God gave us a way out.
The good news is that God so loved the world that He gave His one and only Son.
The good news is the reason we celebrate.

Jesus.
He is the Good News.

--

And there were shepherds living out in the fields nearby, keeping watch over their flocks at night. An angel of the Lord appeared to them and the glory of the Lord shone around them and they were terrified. But the angel said to them,

"Do not be afraid. I bring you good news of great joy that will be for all the people. Today in the town of David a Savior has been born to you; he is Christ the Lord. This will be a sign to you: You will find a baby wrapped in cloths and lying in a manger."

Suddenly a great company of the heavenly host appeared with the angel, praising God and saying,

"Glory to God in the highest, and on earth peace to men on who his favor rests."

Luke 2:8:-14

--

So, whether you're familiar with the story or not, let me encourage you to dig into the Good News this Christmas season. It's a story with hope for the hopeless, light for those in darkness, and truth for those desperately in need. A Savior was born. A light was shone. Be encouraged this Christmas, for there is Good News.