Exhaustion. We know it all too well. We've accepted it, welcomed it, and, for some, embraced it. We even name it.
Our career.
Our husband.
Our family.
Our school work.
Our commitments.
Our faith.
But if you look it up you find a few harsher names-
Burnout.
Collapse.
Consumption.
Debilitation.
Fatigue.
Feebleness.
Weariness.
Medical professionals have even defined it as a disorder.
"Exhaustion is a mental state at which people arrive when their resources for adapting to stress has broken down."
Exhausted people are characterized as:
Struggling to get through each day.
Having trouble getting up in the morning.
Unable to bounce back from stress or illness.
Depending on coffee, tea, or soda.
Simply too tired to enjoy life.
Doesn't this sound all too familiar? Does it break your heart to read those characterizations and find yourself in each of those sentences?
As a current graduate student, exhaustion defines my life. I am constantly living a balancing act, juggling school, two internships, two coaching jobs, work, and church. My planner is a disaster, with meetings, times, dates and locations scribbled throughout its worn pages; my calendar in my room literally color-coded so I never get confused with who the paper is for, which site the meeting is at, and which team the practice plan is for. There are days I leave the house at 5 or 6 in the morning and don't return until 11 at night. Each local coffee shop knows my order by heart and I keep coffee on hand at the apartment. The above characterizations define my life. A simple cold can knock me out for weeks (just last month a cold turned to the flu, then to bronchitis and pneumonia. I was on bed rest for a week). I go days without seeing my roommate (she could admit to exhaustion as well...) and even longer without calling my family. I fit in a workout every day to "relieve stress", then its back to the grind.
What's most disturbing about exhaustion is not that it wipes you out, makes you miserable, and causes depression and irritability - although each of those is harsh in its own right. The most disturbing part of exhaustion, at least for me, is that sometimes it doesn't cause those things. Let me explain:
I'm not unhappy. I love my life. I am working towards my dreams and every day I take another step towards reaching them. Never more than now have my dreams seemed attainable, achievable, and quite realistic. Things are good - I am incredibly blessed and would be lying to you if I said I felt different. And therein lies the deception of exhaustion. Finally I'm accomplishing my dreams, meeting the right people, involved in the right church, and getting the right degree... but at a high price. I feel guilty when I relax, restless when I sleep, and rushed to get from one moment to the next.
In the midst of my exhaustion I am missing the purpose of my life.
Jesus says in John 10:10, "I have come that [you] may have life, and that [you] may have it more abundantly." More abundantly.
The word "abundant" is intertwined with terms of excess, having too much, literally overflowing.
Abounding.
Bounteous.
Cup runs over with.
Exuberant.
Filled.
Luxuriant.
No end of.
Plate is full of.
Exhaustion robs us of exactly what we were meant to do - live. We have been conned into believing that hard work, dedication, and involvement are the keys to fulfilling the life we are called to. Whether it be in a career, family, or [brace yourself] church, we have been duped. Jesus did not come to give you more hours in the day, a bigger to-do list, or extra gumption to volunteer at every church meeting, service, and outreach. He came to give us life to the full - but he didn't stop there. He tells us He will give us rest (Matt.11:28) and that His burden is light (v30).
I need to be honest - I'm exhausted. I'm wiped out, dried up, and completely weary. After reading Jesus' invitation this morning, I realized how much of Him I need to truly find rest. No nap, caffeinated beverage, or invigorating workout can refuel me, recharge me, or give me the energy I need. Living life requires being filled... living it more abundantly requires the rest that only He can give.
"Come to me, all who are weary, and I will give you rest." -Matthew 11:28
