I hate running. My relationship with running has always been related to pain, punishment, and pay-back. Let me explain:
As an athlete, running was what we had to do to stay in shape. Basketball preseason was accompanied by suicides, 4 by 4s, and sweet sixteens. Never once did I finish a sweet sixteen feeling great. Suicides are named as such because... well... I think you understand. Pain was inevitable. For me, though, it was also a reminder how out of shape (compared to most of my teammates) I was. I'm that girl who was blessed with athletic skills... not the athletic body. Basketball revealed my physical weaknesses: I was slow, easily winded, and always "the trailer." I was the high scorer, a beast on the boards, but never the "athlete." Running revealed that.
When it comes to volleyball, running was mainly the punishment. Once I got to college I quickly realized my coach's favorite activities: run-thru's, the "loop", and not setting up the net. Freshman forgot the balls from the bus? No net practice. Lose a 5-game match due to hustle points? Run the loop. Not moving your feet on defense? Run-thru's. Oh, and then there were the suicides for missed serves, running the loop for "fun", and sweet sixteens for attitude problems. "BASELINE" (in any sport) is usually not a term you click your heels to.
But then, almost 2 years ago, I started to like it. I had lost about 35 pounds and found running a little more enjoyable. When I was at my parents house over the summer, I would get up most mornings bright and early and run into town (2.2 miles). My dad always went to town to get coffee so once I reached the bay, cooled down, and stretched out, he had a newspaper, hot coffee in hand, and gave me a ride home. I called this activity pay-back. I hated every moment of the run (mainly due to the sun barely rising) but once I reached the stop light downtown, I felt empowered. I wanted to "pay [myself] back" for the hard work I had put in into losing the weight. Sure, the activity wasn't enjoyable, but most of my life that run was impossible to complete. I had to know I could do it.
My vision board has 5K and 10K written on it. I never "loved" running, and quickly threw the activity out the window when I graduated, stopped "training" for athletics, and moved to Nashville. Running and I aren't on good terms yet again.
This has to change... for me mentally and of course, physically. For me, running is the punishment of the past that I am determined to turn positive. I am going to run because I like it... someday.
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